How I Train Myself To Be Unbreakable After Each Rejection Letter

Rene Cheng
5 min readJan 21, 2021

Overcome the fear of rejection, and change that into motivation

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Rejection. This unavoidable “thing” will always hinder us in our lifetime. Rejection may increase anger, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and even sadness. They are hard to take, but it is up to us to cope with them. As a person who spent at least six months looking for a job, I am so used to these responses — “Thank you for your interest in X Company. After reviewing your application, the team decided to move forward with candidates who are…. ” and, you already know how this goes. In the beginning, it was hard to take in with my overflowed mailbox with rejection letters.

To begin, this is how rejection works in our brain. It depends on how we cope with the situation and the idea of mindfulness. When one is more mindful, they will tend to respond better with rejections. In contrast, when one is less mindful, they probably have more trouble coping with rejections.

And that’s how I trained myself. I slowly understand the idea of rejection is not that I am not “liked.” It is solely because many other people are out there who are more qualified for the job. There could be many reasons why you got rejected. One, maybe the company is only hiring one candidate for the position. Two, maybe your resume did not stand out with other applicants, or in simpler words, you are not as qualified. Three, your interview might just not be the best interview you have ever had. I can go on and on, but you get the point.

Coming out from college, getting decent grades, majored and also minored, had several jobs in the past, had an internship, participated in school clubs, took extra skill courses for certification, rejections still came in. I worked so hard in school, and yet, I still don’t get a job. I later figured that it depends on how I perceive these rejections and gives me a chance to better myself. I learned to be unbreakable after receiving another rejection letter because I am still learning and thriving for what I want. Even business owners, founders, medical professionals, and musicians face rejections. And this is how they trained themselves to be unbreakable after each rejection letter.

Change Your Perspective

Simon Elkjær, the Chief Marketing Officer of avXperten, faced rejections just like everyone else. He said, “Rejections certainly did not feel good at first, but I learned to look at rejections from a different perspective — they can become opportunities for improvement and growth.” This is how we should see rejection as an opportunity for improvement. I learned that rejection could motivate me to thrive for the better, and I become eager to want to be the one to get chosen by a company. It is all about perspectives.

Know Your Self-Worth

Sometimes rejections can be harsh and may affect your vision of your self-worth. As Daniel Carter said, Founder of, “Certainly, you wouldn’t always meet the expectations and standards of some companies, but there is a position that is waiting for you” As a Founder, Daniel understands that as a human being, it is hard to meet ALL the expectations. Sometimes when we don’t meet them, you feel you are “less than others.” I felt worthless because of the constant rejections, but it is up to us to work on it. If you are unsure whether your qualifications match with a company’s expectations, JobSeer is a free tool for you to find out how your qualification aligns with the job description.

Find Something To Hold On To

There has to be something for you to hold on to in your life. It could be someone you cared about dearly, an interest, and even a passion. The Founder of, James Bullard, started his journey with many rejections as a musician. However, he found music to hold on to and share this passion with other people. If you are having trouble coping with rejections, try finding something to hold on to and make your motivation better.

There Is More Than Life to One Job

There are times where decisions led us to devastating rejections. A Registered Nurse at Visiting Nurse’s Association of Cape Cod, Jami Carder was let go after six months working at a private-pay nursing agency. “ I had worked hard at that job, and not only did my gamble of leaving my excellently-benefitted hospital position not work out, but I also found myself facing job rejection for the first time in my life.” Jami felt embarrassed and spent days crying, but the feelings of rejection do not last forever, and they can be transformed into feelings of resolve. The idea of feeling rejected reflects how you see yourself, but there are times when it might be necessary for you to change. It again depends on you to transform that change into something extraordinary.

It takes 99 No’s To A Yes

Damian Birkel, the Founder of Professionals In Transition Support Group Inc., said he started a “No” list when he was jobless. It took him 87 “No”s before he got a job, and because of this experience, he wanted to educate people on how to be better and maximize their talent in a job. Rejection letters are unfortunately not uncommon nowadays, in such a competitive market, but as a job seeker, we should always have faith in yourself about your abilities and qualifications. If you are applying for jobs and would like to know whether you will get a “Yes,” JobSeer helps detect, highlight, and prioritize the most relevant positions based on your qualifications. Turn “no” to a “yes” and find the highest potential in your dream company.

In Conclusion

Coping with rejections can be a life-time journey. People may spend more time learning how to cope, while others understand the reason for rejection instantly. Rejections are something that we can’t avoid in life, and it is up to us to make something out of that. Find the reason for rejection, and use that reason to turn it into motivation.

Special thanks to:

Simon Elkjær, Chief Marketing Officer of avXperten

Daniel Carter, Founder of

James Bullard, Founder of

Jami Carder, Registered Nurse at Visiting Nurse’s Association of Cape Cod

Damian Birkel, Founder of Professionals In Transition Support Group Inc.



Rene Cheng

Ambivert. Loves Coffee and Solo Adventures. Happy to chat!